I can't let you fade away
by Violence Valentine
Summary: Clary has a power. But even something that is in every fibre of your being can be disloyal. It’s a race against time for Jace . . . But what if the only person he can turn to is someone he can never trust
1. Prolouge Unleashed

**Clary has a power. But even something that is stitched into every fibre of your being can be disloyal. It's a race against time for Jace and he will go to the deepest pit of hell to save his only love. But what if the only person he can turn to is someone he can never trust . . .**

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"As I have learnt throughout my many decades on this spherical rock, a talent such as yours must be honed and perfected."

Clary tugged at a wild strand of her vivid red hair, trying to concentrate on her lecturer who was now prancing the length of the room (seemingly unhindered by his spangled fuchsia cowboy boots) that she had been spending her Christmas vacation cooped up in lately.

"So you've seen someone with my um – _talent_ – before, then?" She inquired, resting her chin on her hands and squinting at the figure partly hidden by the heavy perfumed smoke.

"Nope." Magnus Bane was suddenly standing right in front of her grinning his cat like grin while gazing imperiously down at the pile of cushions on which she sat. "Your gift defies all my extensive knowledge, I hope you're happy!" He illustrated this predicament with a wild sweep of both arms, sending glitter flying from the folds in his silk dressing gown, landing on Clary's nose and hair.

"Why don't I show you what I can do? " She suggested.

"_Excuse me! _Which one of us is the famed high warlock who –"

"Okay, so what do you want to do?" Clary cut him off. Magnus paused.

"What you said. That was a good idea!"

Clary rolled her eyes as Magnus flopped down into a magenta arm-chair that she could've sworn hadn't been there before.

"Fine, what rune shall I draw?" Clary raised her sketchpad on her knees, her fingers twitching around her pen as they always did when she was about to draw.

"Mmmmmm. . . a killing rune? The Clave used them on themselves during the uprising to avoid any information finding its way to Valentine if they were caught."

Clary shuddered at her father's name but pressed on. "So what kind of – um" she hesitated "death did you have in mind?"

"Hmmm" Magnus absent mindedly scratched behind Chairman Meow's ears who was perched on his lap, observing Clary through wide eyes. "How about gradual decline, the person who bears this mark shall have to endure their body cells dying one by one until it reaches the heart."

He nodded sagely as Clary raised her eyebrows.

"What? If I'm not allowed to be _slightly _morbid after watching The Ring-"

He stopped as Clary shook her head and put her pen to the paper.

Of course neither the warlock nor the girl could be aware of the nightmare that they were about to unleash –  
No-one should be able to create death should they? But unthinking as they were of these great but unnoticed factors, the pen in Clary's slim fingers continued to scrawl the remainder of her future -

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**Yay my first ever fan fic! I'm sorry about the short chapter but I have quite a few of them so ^_^ I know Jace isn't in this chapter but it is the prolouge and he's got the whole first chapter devoted to him so I don't think he'll mind. And Magnus was really fun to write about so I don't mind.**

**PLEASE R & R ! ! ! ! ! **

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PRESS THE PRETTY BUTTON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! ^_^  
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	2. The worst battles are faced alone

**Hokay next chapter! ^_^ I'm sorry it's so short but the next one is quite long and if I made this longer Jace would get big headed ( cos he's not already ) nah I love my Jace! Well actually (and I forgot to put this last time) all characters belong to la wonderful Cassandra Clare, but you all know that cos you're clever people. Basically I wanted to sift through Jace's feelings and write (badly) about his weak point. The amazing Clary. (She's like the only heroine I don't want to massacre) Anyhow, ENJOY!**

_Jace POV_

Jace lay on his bed and glared at the ceiling. He wasn't happy. In fact he was so far away from happy he'd lost sight of the leprechauns, rainbows, unicorns that people who could be happy at a time like this had deluded themselves with. Ever since that day at Taki's everything had been pushed – no, more like thrown, violently – downhill. The Clave had been dithering about helping him and the Lightwoods, permanently assigned as they were to Valentine's son and Valentine's son's friends' boxes.

He sighed, letting out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. And then there was, his face squirmed as he tried to even think the name – Clary. His love. And sister. Just sister. "And always will remain so." He tried to declare this to the room, to add more confirmation to his thoughts, but his throat felt strangely dry.

"Ja-ace" Isabelle warbled from the kitchen. He ignored her, preferring to close his eyes and hum tunelessly to himself – until she thwacked his bare arm with her thick metal belt. "Ow" Jace squinted up at her "There are less painful ways to get my attention you know." She scowled but otherwise pretended he hadn't spoken. "Clary's coming over so I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and _be nice_!" She exaggerated the last two words with two more thwacks to Jace's arm.

She danced out of his room but continued jabbering "Luke's out of town so she might crash here too." Jace frowned. 'Why did everything have to get even harder?' He wondered in despair. But then he remembered better here than at the bloodsucker's.

"Oh here she is now" he heard the door downstairs open and close and Isabelle's feet on the stairs.

"Just my sister." Jace whispered to himself as he headed out of the room.

_Ah now if you're still alive (I promise Jace and Clary will be in the same room at some point) please, please R&R! I look forward to your comments ^_^ - Valentine _


	3. Confessions over ramen

**_ALL CHARACTORS BELONG TO CASSANDRA CLARE NOT MEEEEE_ _(THOUGH I WISH THEY DID)_**

**_Hurrah! Chapter three XP I actually wrote this up aaaaages ago but there was the small matter of my yr 8 exams *tremble* and typing it up and things that slow me down ^^ Just to warn you there may be a bit of a longer wait between the next few chapter uploads. The next one is written and typed but I need to re-draft the one after it so 3 Hope you people don't miiiiiind but I'm just concerned it's gonna start off well then I'll get sick of it and screw up the end which would be annoying and I imagine i'd have many enimies after that! So I'm gonna take my time, but I promise (aka. hope) it'll be worth it. Oh and CLARY AND JACE ARE IN THE SAME ROOM!!!! *faints* I went a bit mental with the C/J in the next few chapters when Jace's resolve will crumble! MWAHAHAHAHA_**

**_Anyhoo ENJOY! ^_^_**

**Chapter Three - Confessions over Ramen - JPOV**

After Isabelle had finished wringing out Clary's hair and her coat hung, drying (the rain outside had now climaxed to steel bullets of water). They sat in the kitchen, Clary with one of Jace's large sweaters hanging off her petite frame. She was chatting animatedly to Isabelle (probably trying to distract her from the strange concoction on the stove, lovingly addressed to by Isabelle as soup) her green eyes sparking like fire flies. 'Damn it, why must she look so cu-ute!' Jace wondered in despair, toying with his stele and trying to ignore as much of the girl's conversation as possible. Just then Alec stumbled through the door carrying steaming, sumptuous smelling boxes. Clary stopped mid-sentence and looked at her hands. Isabelle faced her brother, indignant, gesturing to the softly glooping 'meal' behind her. "Alec! I was just about to – "  
"Oh no you weren't." Jace swooped down and grabbed the nearest two boxes of takeout, pushing one across the table to Clary who smiled at him. Isabelle shrugged and took the remainder of the boxes. "I think I used too much liver anyway."

**CPOV**

"Um, Clary?" It was to everyone's surprise to find Alec addressing Clary across the, now steamy and full, table.  
"Yes Alec?" Clary raised her head from her ramen feeling slightly worried. Jace also looked up and was regarding them both, his gold eyes serious.  
"I met Magnus at Taki's aaand –"Alec looked awkward. "He said something happened earlier and was wondering if you were alright."  
"What!" Jace flung his chair back from the table and was immediately facing Clary, his eyes angry. "Did that pervert do anything to you Clary? I wouldn't put anything past that _warlock_!" Clary tried to fight him off with her small fists but Jace grabbed her wrists trying to see into her eyes. Now it was Alec's turn to be angry.  
"Don't call my boy-"he stopped, blushing a deep red "-him a pervert." He finished lamely. Jace's eyes swivelled to him, wide and his mouth opened in a small 'o'.  
"Um –"Clary spoke trying to think of a way to distract Jace. Apparently none was needed as Jace's attention was immediately back on her. She could see he was about to start shouting again when Isabelle shushed him. "Tell us what happened Clary." She implored in a quiet voice. So Clary resumed scrutinising her hands and told.

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The rune was a complicated one. Clary muttered its name under her breath as she added the many loops and spirals. Even with half closed eyes she was aware of Magnus' sparkly gaze which seemed about to burn a hole in her skull. Then she was done. She just felt it in the release of breath and relaxing motion of her pen against the paper slowly stopping. She looked up at Magnus to return his previous grin, but her face froze halfway. The warlock was staring at the rune with a horror she never thought she'd see cross his relaxed, laid back façade. Clary followed his gaze to stare at the rune she'd just drawn. The thick lines made by her pen were glistening although the ink should surely have dried by now. Looking closer, the black seemed to go beyond the paper, bubbling and swirling. Clary was sure she could see something writhing inside – With a piercing yowl Chairman Meow sprang onto Clary's pad, scattering loose pages everywhere. A sudden gust of wind rushed through the room, though no windows were open, and Clary, Magnus, Chairman and the sketchpad in all directions. In the commotion she could've sworn she heard a familiar voice laughing. Clary hit the wall and struggled not to cry out in surprise and pain. Her heavy pad had landed on top of her, the rune pressing into her chest and she was aware of a flash burn spreading across her abdomen. But it went as quickly as it came. She clawed at the wall to get to her feet. Dazedly she looked around. Heaps of silk and chiffon covered the floor and walls and Magnus' armchair lay in tatters on the floor some feet away. 'Apart from the armchair, this is pretty much the state it was in when I got here' she thought dizzily. She stumbled to the door, clutching her pad and listening to Magnus cooing to his cat.

As Clary reached the door leading to the grey Brooklyn streets, she saw herself reflected in its gleaming wood. She didn't seem to be hurt but Clary knew there was only one place she could go now.

**********

"So I came here." Clary murmured, trying not to look at anyone's face, especially not Jace's.  
"You're sure you're not hurt?" Isabelle asked anxiously. Clary nodded fervently. "I thought you looked pale, you should get some sleep." Isabelle insisted.  
"Yeah I suppose, I'm probably just tired that's all." She tried to smile at the worried expressions around her but didn't meet anyone's eye. "Night." Clary got down from the high bar stool she'd been sitting on and headed quietly down the hall.  
She was almost at the room Isabelle had assigned her earlier, when a hand softly gripped her shoulder. She spun round to see Jace whose face was crinkled in worry, the moonlight cascading down his golden skin and hair. "You're really sure you're fine?" he asked tilting her chin up so he could see her face. He was so beautiful Clary bit her lip to stop it from trembling. "Yes, never been better." She assured him, a false sense of cheer in her voice. He remained unconvinced but she stepped back, gently removing his hands from her face. She smiled at him before turning away to go into her room, but even then she could feel his anxious gaze warming her back. It was a gaze she'd always longed for. "But not like this." She whispered, sliding to the floor. The door closed behind her and she began to cry.

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**_Well I don't think that went too badly, what did you think? Guess what I'm gonna ask you to do!_**

**_PLEASE R&R PLEAAAASE_**

**_THE BUTTON_**

**_IS JUST_**

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	4. When nightmares break their boundaries

**ALL OF THE CHARACTORS BELONG TO CASSANDRA CLARE - NOT ME 'KAY?**

**Heyoo! Thankyou to all of you who have made it this far, all of the favs and comments make me feel really special =^.^= so now I'm all motivated ( and exams/cosplay/other boring things ) are over I can get down to some really hard core writing!  
****Oh who am I** **kidding, I'm a wimp *smiles* I was practically having hysterics at the end of this chapter and the next. HA they're so tragic!  
But I can't womble on in these introductions or I'll give too much away so now read on my dears. ^^**

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Chapter 4 – When nightmares break their boundaries – CPOV

It was a long night. It seemed to Clary that there was a weight pressing heavily on her chest as she tossed and turned in her small bed. Though every time she tries to instinctively brush it away, her fingers found nothing. She rolled over, facing the glowing digits that proudly declared to the darkness it was 1:30am. 'Great'. Clary sat up, abandoning all hopes of sleep for now. The rain had made the artificially heated air sticky and the strange weight made breathing even more difficult. She was still wearing the sweater Jace had thrust at her earlier, Jocelyn always told her not to wear clothes to bed. Clary ignored her eyes pricking at the thought of her comatose mother and slid her hand under the sweater, tracing her chest. 'It's probably a cold' she told herself but then she felt something as her fingers lightly ran above her heart. A thin ridge in her skin. A scar? She didn't remember getting any recently and especially not _there._

She stumbled into the narrow bathroom, fumbling the light switch. The bright fluorescent bulb blinked on momentarily blinding Clary. With her eyes tight shut she felt her way to the mirror, pulling up the over-sized jumper. She opened her eyes. The smooth, intricate black lines of a mark curled around her left breast. They looked strangely familiar until two words leapt out at her like a banner, causing her to gasp and jerk backwards, painfully hitting her head on the tiled wall. She muffled her cry knowing Jace was sleeping in the next room and slowly got up to look in the mirror again. It wasn't possible. She was dreaming. But the words shined in her vision again, though this time she felt so numb her limbs couldn't move. "Gradual Decline" Clary whispered feeling strangely calm. Jace's words echoed in her head, his angel voice coated with a gloating malice; "The closer to the heart, the more effective." Clary whimpered as the realisation started to sink in, accompanied by a stinging and dead feeling in the tips of her fingers. She picked up her phone slowly from the rim of the sink, carefully dialling the warlock's number and praying to the Gods that he would tell her it was all a nightmare.

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JPOV

"Oh Clary." Jace whispered into his pillow as, still wearing his jeans and shirt ensemble, he feigned sleep. 'What was it with that girl? She had the power to cause him – Jace – sleepless nights yet never gave herself a second thought.' But Jace _was_ thinking. He couldn't ignore the incident at Magnus' like she had, and standing outside her room he'd been terrified of the small sobs filtering through the wood. What if she was hurting while he lay here, too cowardly to do anything about it. He'd thought after Taki's he'd go right off her, finally accepting their blood, but this strange, alien emotion he felt for Clary had never gone away. He rolled over and pressed his hands into his eye-sockets, watching as stars erupted out of the black. He shouldn't have lied to Clary. Fine. He was going to be a man. He could confess to his feelings whatever the consequences. He would at least have a slim hope that Clary would one day return his feelings if he showed her he was not the disgusting lustful monster he had let her witness before. This new resolve firmly in place he tiptoed quietly to the door, intending to accidentally on purpose wake Clary when he heard a noise. His perfect hearing, further clarified by the runes inked around his arms, picked up a scuffling sound from downstairs, near the entrance. An intruder? It had to be a Shadowhunter. Grabbing one of the Seraph blades at the foot of his bed, he edged quietly from the room.

Jace got downstairs in no time at all, the full moon and institutes wide windows making it too easy to hide in the shadows cast by the marble pillars. He could only see the silhouette of the intruder but they were smaller than he'd pictured, and with a lot more hair. He shrugged, creeping up behind whoever it was with his catlike grace, raising the blade in both hands and aiming for a blow that would crack any mundane's skull. The figure spun round and the moonlight reflected from the raised blade to the terrified face of Clary. Jace quickly diverted the blow and the seraph blade wedged into the thick metal umbrella stand, cutting it in two like butter.

"What the hell are you doing? I could have – " Jace didn't continue, they both know full well what could've happened. Clary looked at him, wide eyed, trying to regain herself. "Um" she replied dazedly "I just couldn't sleep so I – "

"So you what? You're halfway to the door Clary. _Tell me where you're going._"

Clary flinched. Jace knew he sounded furious but he was. An un-explainable, un-excusable rage poured through him at the thought Clary was going to leave without telling him.

"N-nowhere." Clary stuttered over the word, her face un-convincing. The unreal anger enveloped Jace and he gripped her small forearm, she winced but the red clouded his vision and he did not notice.

"Wait Ja-"Clary struggled against Jace's iron clench on her arm, and then suddenly went limp as the colour drained from her face. The rage coursing through Jace's veins suddenly lifted and he watched in horror as Clary doubled over coughing. Each breath racking her small frame. She finally came up to face her brother's shocked eyes. A small amount of blood trickled from the corners of her mouth. She touched the red staining her lips and with a small "Oh" crumpled forward into Jace's arms. He reacted immediately. "Clary? No, Clary!" the frenzy in his voice was now in stark contrast to his previous rage and hysteria bubbled in his chest as he saw the dark smudges under her eyes and the pallor of her cold cheeks. He cradled her head in his lap, now on his knees. "Clary what's wrong? Wake up!"

This time her eyelashes fluttered but her eyes remained unfocused as though she could see much further than Jace's stricken features. "Magnus . . ." She whispered, so quietly only the frantic Jace could ever have heard her. But once again she was choking, clinging to Jace's shirt like a small child.

Of course the warlock would know what's wrong but as usual it was he – Jace – who was clueless about his sister. But he had no time to be jealous. He lifted Clary in his arms as gently as possible, kicked open the door and ran into the night.

He didn't know exactly what was happening or why Clary's blood now stained his shirt, but if it had anything to do with earlier – his mind flickered back to her story – it wasn't good for anyone. Especially not Clary.

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**GRIIIIIIIIN  
Tragedy never fails to make me smile!  
I have recieved a review speculating Clary's impending doom . . . I'm sorry but (if I ever get to the end of this ) you'll have to find out!  
God I'm annoying when I want to be ". But onwards and upwards! Love it? Hate it? Want to massacre me? I WANNA KNOW!**

**PLEAAAAAAAAAASE R&R YOU CAN MAKE ME FEEL WEAL SPWECIAL ^.- **_not in a scary way, just happy 0_o _

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	5. Consent for a cure

**THE CHARACTERS AND STUFF DO NOT BELONG TO MEEEE THEY BELONG TO CASSANDRA CLARE**

**Yaaaaaaaay! Hi everyone!**

**I'm very happy to be back in-case you haven't noticed. It's been about 4 weeks since the last chapter hasn't it? Well I'm very sorry but I had a school holiday and was being very very lazy and didn't do anything. Then I had to rewrite this TWICE *collapse* I suppose I take it for granted when it just kinda flows. *shrug* Ah well, never say I don't luv 'ya, ne? Anyhoo a lovely Magnus POV chapter, I reeeealy enjoy writing with him, he's so fun. But making him a bit sombre, now THAT was difficult but I think I pulled through.^_^ BTW please forgive any typing errors, I seem to be especially vulnerable to them lately, if you find one tell me please. It'll be like a treasure hunt . . . but your only prize will be my un-dying gratitude. Ahhh I'm a bad prize person. XP Oh yes, the story! This-is-not-a-blog-for-my-rambling. Alright read on my pretties ( because I know you are ^^ ) **

Chapter 5 - Consent for a cure

MPOV

There are many things a warlock can find knocking at his door, especially at 3 o clock in the morning. But while Magnuswas expecting one Shadowhunter (that little one, Clary) but he did not intend to stretch his hospitality to increase that number. However even as one of the few who could slam a door in Jace Wayland's perfectly formed face, there was something in the look of worry and exhaustion that clouded his normally (infuriatingly) luminous gold eyes as he held up the slight red-head that had Magnus pressing himself to the wall to allow them to pass.

Jace did not acknowledge Magnus' presence until he had laid Clary, who was chalk white, on one of the armchairs in the most comfortable position possible. Then he turned to face Magnus, his face half hidden in shadow.

"I don't know what's wrong with her but –" the pain normally so well guarded, struggled through his voice and Magnus knew how much it was going to cost him to say the next two words. "–Help me."

Right. Now to work. "How long has she been out?" The warlock closed in on the unconscious girl, his fingers twitching and blue shimmers distorting his features. He nodded as Jace gave him a strained account of the events that had occurred.

But Magnus was only half listening. He was more interested in the glowing, subtly emanating from the girls' chest that was absorbing his magic. "Hmm" he wondered aloud. Gently he began to pull up Clary's sweater when suddenly, something hit the back of his head, scattering glitter. Jace grabbed the collar of Magnus' sequined shirt, yelling into his face. "What do you think you're doing?! I asked you to fix her, not rape her!"

"For someone who needs my help you've got a funny way of thanking me for it." Magnus detached himself from Jace's quivering fists and straightened his shirt.

"My magic is useless against this." He pulled down the sweater's elasticised collar, ignoring Jace's audible lip grinding, to reveal the mark. It glowed as the sparks Magnus had produced were absorbed at a dizzying speed. Both Jace and Magnus sucked in a breath as they read the mark's name. "No" Jace said quietly, stumbling back until he hit the wall, sinking slowly to the floor as Magnus just sat, frozen. 'Oh crap.' Slowly as his senses returned he became aware of an odd noise from behind him. Slowly turning his head he saw Jace's shoulders shaking. Horrible, dejected, dry sobs pealed from the Shadowhunter's chest and suddenly he seemed very small against the wide expanse of wall.

Magnus couldn't not stare. Jace, who would build barriers as high as the sky-scrapers outside to keep people from his emotions, breaking down in front of _Magnus_? Jace pulled in a long deep breath and addressed Magnus, his voice unsteady. "There was one cure for the death rune wasn't there." Magnus nodded dumbly. "Valentine has it." Jace continued then his voice was filled with a desperation Magnus had never expected to hear. "Tell me where he is. I have to find that counter-rune. Please, I c-can't let her go like this!" He buried his head in his hands and Magnus felt a cruel inclination to laugh. Instead the warlock shook his head. "I can't do that Jace. The Clave would strip me of all my power, besides; the odds of you actually surviving that little excursion would be minimal."

"You have to!"

"I told you, I c-"

"WOULDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING YOU COULD IF IT WAS ALEC!"

There was silence apart from Jace's heavy breathing and Magnus' thoughts, which were pounding around in his head. Yes, he would do anything, and almost had to once before. He remembered the cold, looking up from his perch on the back of a gently rocking truck and seeing a small familiar shape falling through the night to plunge in the black waters below. And not emerging. He shuddered then hurriedly composed himself, but it had been enough.

"See, I have to try." Jace regarded the warlock with – was that _sympathy? _This boy was inside his head now? So not fair. "I – " the Shadowhunter's eyes closed again. His golden lids bruised. "I love Clary" he opened his eyes and it was only then they realised the red-head's eyes had long opened and were gazing at Jace with a sort of innocent longing. "Really, Jace? Do you mean it?" seemed all she could say in her quiet voice. Jace scrambled over, touching her face, he didn't need to say anything though. Magnus rolled his eyes but somewhere in the part of his mind that he regarded as _'simple' _he might have been a tiny bit happy. _Might._

Watching them (or failing not to) it was like two blind people seeing the light, a memory stirred in Magnus' brain. That of the Church fathers preaching, their monotonous voices making him drowsy; "And finally, when all the lies were cleared from the faces of the angels, they looked upon a new world"

Magnus flopped his head back against the dresser that squatted opposite the live romance novel he had the misfortune of letting into his house. Of course it wasn't that difficult to get their sweet behinds outta here, he just had to say; "Oh all right God dammit!" Magnus yelled at the ceiling. Fine, he'd tell Jace where Valentine was, he was gonna get in trouble (as was customary to him) sooner or later so why not now.

He raised his head fixing the Shadowhunters with one of his most superior glares. Sadly they seemed immune. He'd have to work on it. Jace looked down at his knees, a smug smile spreading across his face. Clary looked confused.

'Ah well' Magnus thought to himself, rolling his eyes 'at least _that_ much was normal.'

**Joy, their troubles are over . . . or are they? **

**Don't ask me I don't know! But maybe if you review *lashflutterlashflutter* it'll jog my memory ^_^'**

**I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Or maybe I just liked my pen waaaaay to much, I don't know. ^^**

**Oh by the way, thanks for the reviews I've had so far. I read them all but don't reply (do you want me to? If you do I will ^^) they are much appreiciated! **

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v **REVIEW PLEASE SO THAT I MAY IMPROVE AND HANG ON TO MY PRECIOUS READERS ! ! ! **


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